Oh Star doesn't buck.

My relationship with horses has been something of a love hate thing.  I love them, their main concern is getting me off of their back.  They say horses can sense a beginner and treat them carefully, I don't know what horses those were.  I always wanted to run like the wind, one with the horse, wind blowing through my hair, carefree and bareback...Ok so that is what I wanted?  When I was dating we went to Kettle Moraine to ride horses...everyone gets on their horse and my horse is a huge, I mean huge tall horse, I am thinking Clydsdale but it was an American Quarterhouse or something??  Quarter horse to me meant 1/4 the size of a real horse.  I had to stand on a picnic table to mount this beauty.  Which also means my legs were pretty much straight out from the horse and we will just say some arse pounding went on.  Then up north we got my brother to go riding and I was behind him, watching him and his horse blanket had ball fringe on it, so when the horse would move that ball fringe would bounce around and the horse was a gas emitting machine, all I could do was laugh and gag.  My friend was getting married and lived on a farm and the one horse they had, was used to pulling a buggy, but I with all my horse sense said I wanted to ride...it was a job getting the horse away from the barn.  After about 45 minutes we got a mile away and I the horse decided to go back, it saw the silo and we did a minute mile getting back to the barn.  I had bugs in my teeth and my hair was slick back, so much for the wind blowing through my hair.  Then there was Star, a pretty horse with a star on his forehead.  I had my barn boots on and the "kids" wanted to go for a ride.  I said give me a mellow horse..."Ah ol Star here don't buck"  no sooner out of his mouth and as I was swinging my leg over the saddle, Star decided he would prove, farmhand wrong.  I really had no clue what was happening because my leg kept getting higher and didn't clear the saddle and suddenly I was launched into the mud of the corral.  I missed about 20 little round rocks the size of loaves of bread with my butt, I was not hurt.  Then there was the horse back riding at the Dells, my sister and I decided it would be fun and really they were trail broke old horses...so they are helping my sister get on the horse and I am looking at my horse kind of strange?  not sure what kind of horse this was it was tall but had really big ears and slanty eyes?? So when I sit on it, my head is in a tree...uhm can we get out of this evergreen tree??  Jokingly I say "come on hoss, let's get moving.  The guide says "that's not a horse it's an ass," well that was all we needed to hear from one ass to another!!!!