Wednesday, July 28, 2010

If the phone rings answer it!!!!

My moms phone was out of service for a few days... : ) sister in law got her a cheap trac phone so she could call us if she needed anything. So she calls me Sunday night and we set up a breakfast date for Monday morning. I tell her I will call her to make sure she is up and ready. Monday I get up and start calling at 7am, no answer, so I kept calling and redialing and dialing and no answer. I figure she is sleeping, so leave her sleep. I get a call at 8am...."Where are you?" I am on my way home, I tried to call, you didn't answer. "The phone ring isn't the same as my other one?" huh? It doesn't sound the same? So you don't answer.....silence? Now please tell me what do you do or say, I try to be patient but this is a two edged sword, My mom knows what buttons to push and she loves to push buttons.....I don't like to play games, and I won't so she loses, no breakfast. Is she actually getting this bad or is she playing games that she is so good at. So this can be a "you reap what you sow" moment.
So many women my age are experiencing the same thing. The games mothers play especially with their daughters. Having my own personal travel agent, my mom has put me on more guilt trips than you can imagine....I am now immune, it doesn't bother me anymore, it only works so long and you build up a resistance, too bad for her. I have visited that island so many times it bores me.....The games people play. But why? She likes to pit my brother, sister in law and me against each other, subtle, she is very subtle, the good thing we are aware of it, Cheryl is not quite as aware but after living with her for so many years Scott and I are. We can bounce it off of each other and Cheryl feels we are not compassionate, then again Cheryl has never witnessed the wrath of Pauline. A year or so ago, I had a fight with my mom and I told her she was starting trouble, why did she like to make trouble between me and my brother, my son? My mom can't remember how a phone rings but she will take that statement to her grave....she brought it up the other day......Want to know something sad? I am going to miss her when she is gone, I know I will, but what is it I am going to miss? The banter? I have tried to create moments of fun, she doesn't find joy in anything, she never did. I try to take her places I think she would enjoy, if it cost money she doesn't enjoy it. Out to dinner....she doesn't enjoy it. I think this is what makes me most confused. I want to miss her for something loving, something good. Not for her cutting remarks and malcontent ways....I certainly hope that I have learned from her what not to do to my child and maybe that is what I have learned from her, but what will it be that I miss?

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