Losing weight?

I know I can't be the only person that buys into the "you've lost weight"  yes a little, and my knees feel better and I feel better and yes there is a glow in my cheeks and my ankles aren't the size of Mrs. Langes and my shoes are loose and.   Ok this is great, so then why, oh why do I feel after all of that, that I should start shoving anything in my mouth to jeopardize my attempts at feeling better.  Potatoes, oh yeah give me an extra spoonful and chips, oh yes and taco dip, pumpkin pie, oh my???  What else can I eat so that my knees will hurt again?  Hmmmmm chocolate something....brownies, can I find a good store bought brownie??   I want to feel the hurt again, I want the fat swollen ankles of salt overload.  I want my eyes to swell from dairy and sodium and boy am I accomplishing it.  What is wrong with me??  Why do I sabotage my great attempts and my health?  Is there something wrong with "feeling better?"  am I afraid to feel better?  Is it the good old Catholic guilt I was raised with that says you cannot feel to good it must be a sin???  hhhmmmm maybe that's it?  Whatever it is, it is stopping as soon as I quit typing, when my hands leave these keys, it is over, and done, finished and I will start to eat better again and when you eat better you can eat a lot of healthy good food, and I think I will never stop typing again.....help!!!!