Yesterday was my mom's 87th birthday party. If you are planning on attending any party where old people and family friends will be at gird your loins, my friends. I think we are all guilty of the same thing, we tend to remember people as they were, not thinking they are getting old too. So I was exposed to all mom's old friends, I used to be thinner, have black hair, it was long , I cut it and it is white, with pink, purple and teal now, but it is white, I am 56 years old and I am fat. I know this, I don't need the mouth open gapping look from old Aunt Emma. So I am sitting at a table talking about old times and Mike my son is there, Jonell another family friend , my Godmother and this Barbara who we grew up with her kids. Barbara is a wonderful woman, lots of fun and very nice, she proclaims at the table in a voice that resonated....Oh Jan you were...Were...WEre....WERe...WERE...such a pretty girl. You had such beautiful curly hair (hours of dragging rags around wrapped in my head so I couldn't sleep) Well Mike and I started laughing, key word is you were.....it cracked me up. Then she injects well you still are you have beautiful skin...LOL. Old people are so funny, and man do they love good skin...I guess I have that going for me.
On the other hand my mom lives with this lady that has a down syndrome girl, well woman I think she may be 50ish. Gloria is very good to my mom, she brings her food and her and her daughter go to Panara's as a treat for her daughter. For Christmas, I bought Gloria a gift card so she could take her daughter to lunch, on me, for being so good to mom....I am not bragging it is just part of the reason, I got this beautiful Thank You card and a photo of her daughter in it. I looked at the photo and it makes me smile, and happy. Her daughter whose name escapes me has down syndrome, she is smiling so wide, you can't help but see the joy she must be to be around. She has a cute bandana around her neck and is glowing. I keep the photo in my visor of my car and every so often I look at it and smile at her big grin. I told this to my mom, how it makes me happy and how cute she is. My mom told Gloria this and she came up to me at the party and started crying, she said no one ever told her, that her daughter was pretty. It made me feel bad that we are such a beauty orientated society, that we can't look past the plastic. It made me feel good that maybe because beauty fades and I am so apparantly made aware of that, that I want to look deeper past that in people, whatever it is, it made me happy that I had said that. A simple phrase....to a mother..who knew it would make such an impact. As I grow older I do know that the stones you throw cannot be brought back and you can never tell where they will land.
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