Wednesday, July 12, 2006
A Glimpse of Hell
I know I was in no way even close to hell, but anyone that would have been around me, may have been in danger. They might have seen the horns and tail and breathing fire. What am I talking about? Another attempt at handling menopause. I am on Premarin for the record, please do not email me about Soy and Black Cohosh and other herbal supplements. I have already exhausted those options, yes they worked for a while but soon I was taking bottles of the herbs and wondering what effect an overdose of Black Cohosh would be like. A while ago my Dr. suggested I attempt getting off Premarin, he advised a depression drug called Loza something for hot flashes, so I agreed , one pill and I had rubber band legs and couldn't focus on anything, so I quit that. Back to the Pregnant horse pee pill...once again experiencing horrendous constant hots, I thought I would revisit this road. He again said anti depressants and having a short memory and knowing it wasn't the same drug, he gave me some samples of Effexor alias a walk in hell!!! I dutifully took my pill last night before bed per directions and went to bed. I am a sleeper, I go to bed circle twice and I am sleeping, I may or may not have to check out the bathroom once during the night it is not at this point mandatory. I like to sleep. Around 11:30pm, it started, waking up for no apparant reason, sweating? I don't normally have night sweats? Go to sleep you have to work tomorrow, Ok I will try, my skin starts crawling my hands and feet are burning and my lips feel numb. Do I call 911? Just go to sleep, it will pass...like hell, all night this went on trembling and nervous and anxious and sweating and Oh my God I wanna sleep. I wanna die...no not yet not because of this stupid anti depressant pill, a quarter inch by half inch little pill. It will run it's course and I will feel better....I hope. I get up to call into work and I am so dizzy and have a headache to end all headaches, this starts another spin, it's going to rain, I have a rain migraine, go to sleep, just go to sleep. It is 6:30pm and I am starting to feel normal, this is a time released capsule and I do hope I don't have another "release". In this little episode of terror, I have come to embrace my hot sweaty head....I will relish each drop of sweat, running like a river down my face. I can do this, you never hear of someone dying from menopause...till now!!! Did I mention how much I love Premarin!!!! I may get my own horse ranch.