Sunday, August 06, 2006

You know you're a Redneck if.....


You get married at a Bass Pro Sporting Good store lobby!!!! Now seriously, I like Bass Pro, I can drop a lot of money there, it's like a yarn store. I can get caught up in the shopping frenzy with Scott and Cheryl just as well as I can get into the same frenzy with my Fiber friends. But really a wedding, in the main entrance, with thousands of strangers gawking in disbelief or wonderment? I personally walked in while Scott and Cheryl were window shopping outside. I wanted to get into the air and proceeded to plop down on one of the couches around the fireplace. I looked around and saw two guys in cowboy hats standing "at ease", I thought that looks weird, and then I saw a few woman all dressed up, feeling a little underdressed for this group, I started looking around a little more and moved from the center couch, which would have put me front and center on the wedding guest list. I moved to the outside window sill, and still trying to figure out why this woman, who let me tell you broke one of my laws of life...SPANDEX
Spandex should be made illegal for two body shapes ....one is mine, and the other is skinny women that look like cricket legs in spandex....I know it is comfortable but ppppuuuullllleeeeeezzzz look in the mirror.
So this woman had on a blue spandex casing with sparkles, and high heels that laced up to her knees...Ok I know I may offend some of you but I am a Birky baby, but I did do a good slutty dress look, back in the "Day". So here I am caught up in this wedding, (wondering where she found my old dress)? I had to, could not restrain myself from a photo op. After all, I was in line with three other wedding guests, and wondering where the heck Scott and Cheryl were? In comes the bride to the humming of the tune..."Here comes the Bride?" me included...what can I say I got caught up in the moment!!! In walks Scott and Cheryl through the door to the left there in the photo. Cheryl not missing a beat decided she would try to become invisible with Scott in tow...not happening. They pulled (dragged) me away from the Wedding and the gathered workers gawking in disbelief at the wedding in their store. Cheryl was pulling at my shirt, as I was scanning the area for the cake...where's the cake? I love wedding cake. I love any cake!!!

5 comments:

Betty said...

OH MY GOD! I was invited to the wedding but couldn't make it! The theory carries on!

Just kidding. What do you think, they were registered at Pro Bass Shop? The wedding cake was a bass boat and the bride and groom and the top netting the biggest bass you ever saw.

Lois said...

Too funny! Got to love it! Your new camera is nice and I loved the pics of Tinker. She is no way evil! I'm just now catching up on emails. I've been at Ann's house all week aftr her surgery. She is fine now and healing well. Miss you.

Spiderlady said...

Betty you probably have a Spandex dress too!!! If I knew there was a weddin, at that there Bass Pru, U kin be sure I wooda wore me some cowboy boots and my ranglin hat. Yes I have both!!! I love cowboys but come on....go to Vegas, not Bass Pro!!! I understand weddings are expensive (speaking from experience) but what happened to a Park, if you can't afford it, or a back yard? I mean they didn't even have a fire in the fireplace!!! Hey Lois, Ann who?

annie said...

OMG I missed another family wedding! That is hilarious, who knew the fishin' shop had such allure? I kill me! I love that you sat right down in the middle of the wedding before you realized WTF was going on.

I hope you bought them a nice case of worms for a gift before you left!

Anonymous said...

I am going to take your spandex rule one step further and say anyone over 6 should not leave the house wearing spandex.........
Erin (Miss you Jannie)