Jiggle race to the checkout

I am not competitive, I don't care if I win, it is not important to me. I was walking into the grocery store and this woman walked a little faster, like maybe they were giving something away free. I walked a little faster, then she was cut off by an older woman and I kicked it into high gear (mind you me walking in high gear) passed her up and entered the store. Now i don't like grocery shopping, what was I thinking when I went shopping at after work time. So let the games begin....I am doing my usual strolling and putzing and here comes Speedracer doing speed shopping, swooping around your cart like we're on the Autoban and then slamming on the brakes, right next to another cart....Ok so now no one can go anywhere and then she gives a huff at the person on the other side of the jam that asked her very nicely to please move one way or the other. This is where I take a deep breath, put my 357 back in the holster and take a vallium. Just kidding, but my goodness, no one seems to have any manners any more. Then I am looking for Androille sausage so I ask the meat clerk, but this is how I pronounce it, "Excuse me sir, do you have Anjoulullie sausage, laughing and he says you mean Androille??? Well yes of course that is what I said you just didn't hear me correctly sir!!!! Ok so now I am on a soup kick, I am going to make soup, mmmmm a good thick stewy kind of soup. I have my cart filled with about $100.00 worth of soup ingrediants and then pass the deli counter and Oh they have that fresh soup that is so good and costs $7.95? Now what the heck am I thinking, I hate eatting the same thing for a week, and I am going to make a soup kitchen kettle of soup, then what throw it out???? So common sense kicked in and I now have two eatable containers of soup...... Sometimes I get smart!!!! Oh oh so I am on my way to the checkout and here comes ms. I'm gonna beat you to the checkout.....the hell you are, I kick in to quick steps and trying to look like I am not going to break into a run mode. This was the same woman trying to outrun me getting into the store, OMG, I just want to go home and play Mai Jong and eat soup!!!!