Costumes

So this weekend is my Mad Hatter tea party.  Everyone is invited and all you need to do is wear something you knit as a hat, scarf, socks, mittens etc.  The more zany the better of course.  So I needed to tweek my costume and went to the Halloween shop which are gearing up for Halloween next month.  My first desire was to be the Red Queen, this would require a extra large huge,  red prom dress or bridesmaid dress, something red....uuuhhmm not happening.  so off to the shop I go.  Since when did Alice in Wonderland and every other costume turn into slutville?  I almost thought I was in an Adult Sex shop, actually mentioned it to the sales girl who by the way had no idea what, where or why she was there???  All the costumes looked like French Maids, short with boobs galore???  Alice, short skirt, thigh highs and popping boobs?  Really the Alice I knew didn't look like that?   Red Queen?  uhhhh we have this red long dress, oh it's a queen dress?  Oh it only comes in Medium, but here's one that is a G large and it's "short".   No thanks...Do you have wigs?  Uhhhh I think there is this red one....it looks like an overstuffed pillow?  Look I don't think this is working too well?  She says "for me or you?"  huh?  I think maybe both of us??  Do they do drug testing at those employers?  I went to Bartz where they know what they have and are very nice to help.