That's going to leave a mark/or TG for back fat!!!

So in our usual routine, I get up get dressed and take Iggy for his walk. I savor the fact that when I get back I can relax and have a cup of coffee. Outside my back door I have three wood steps. Can you see where this is going? I have a covered porch but I am in an alcove that collects leaves, garbage and those aweful white fluffy cottonwood whisps. The combination of all of these and then add torrential downpours, the steps have become slippery as ice. I know that now? I mean in the Winter I do know that, but it is June. I closed the door and that is the last thing I remember as I threw my hands up in the air and left go of the leash and ended up on the pavement. I do know that I hollored, what I am not sure was it IIIIggggggggyyyyyyyyyy, who is now running loose, or OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW whatever it was, it was loud and I laid there assessing the damage. OMG what hurts and what is hanging unfunctional? nothing yet, so I roll over and this in itself is quite a feat, slowly calling Iggy like he is some Lassie dog that will come to my aid with a rope and help lift me out of the well. I get on my hands and knees, wincing in instant stiffness.....oh this is going to leave a mark. I didn't hit my head but my back feels like a washboard, so I must have slid down my back, see back fat is a good thing, it cushions moments like these...sliding down steps at top speed with multiple tonage behind you. So Lassie is standing looking at me like "what the hell was that?" I 'm sure the ground shook some. I am up and of course we have to do our walk so he can do his duty, which I did not do in my pants, but as I lay there, my pants became a sponge and soaked up the whole puddle in my parking spot , so I could have? I ran a hot bath with epsom salts and think I will live, bruises are magically appearing at top speed and I'm sure tomorrow is going to be a real pain. Good news, nothing is dangling precariously ......just my pride....