Tuesday, May 06, 2008

I see dead people

I did it, I went to see plastic dead people!!!! My mom was really interested in seeing the exhibit and everyone that has seen it has given it an amazing review. I don't know if it was my dismay at peoples behavior, or worrying about pushing my mom into a display and having plastic dead person riding with her in her chair? It was my Mothers Day gift to my mom a day on a field trip. It started with buying tickets on line....hhhhmmm there is a 10% sur charge for that process so I called, that cost $5.00? So you should buy tickets ahead and pay more?? do I hear $$$$$$$$$$???? So I pick mom up early and we head off on our excursion. She has a light jacket and I put her cadillac walker into the car. (This one has a seat for her as she tires easily) We get to the museum parking and almost get T boned in the parking structure by 4 women zipping around the rows. I drop mom off and find a parking spot 50 feet away!!!! what luck!!! Now this is pet peeve of mine and old people and even though I harp on this everytime we enter a building, grocery, whatever, my mom walks into the door and stops, leaving me and my fat arse hanging on the threshold with a jam up behind me and the automatic door clicking open and closed. "Mom, move in and off to the side and then gape at will" Now that you read this you will notice tons of old people do this.....AARP requires you walk into building and stop!!!! Causing major rear ending behind you....Ok so we go pick up the tickets and we are early. We head towards the butterflies there is something really fun about butterflies flitting all around you and on your hair and fingers, except mom has seen the best there is in the world and she has been here before and so I keep going and make her go anyway. Oh I forgot to mention, we went on Monday!!! Free day!!!! 50 gazzilion kids and another 30 bazillion senior citizens. So here is our duo with a walker, with kids darting in between us and seniors stopping on a dime and tooting. I feared for their lives. I am not a crowd person....well not anymore that is. We leave the butterfly exhibit and one follows us to the security of double doors, with some coercing I get it back into the safety of 50 kids poking pencils at them. Off we go to the Body works show....I am not thrilled to do this, I am not a rubbernecker at funerals and take no interest in seeing bodies anywhere. I have been apprehensive but everyone assures me it is tasteful and not gross!!! So with walker and mom and myself we go to the line....our appt. was for 11:00am, we were there about 10:30 and that line was humongous, but here's a good thing to know, the off hour ie: 10:15-45 etc. were minimal. We enter and I must say it was interesting but the rudeness of people amazes me. I pushed my mom as close as I felt safe to the encased body and some woman steps in front of mom and stops, leaving my mom inspecting the seams on the back of her arse????? Do people not see that there is someone in a chair?? Then the people that have to point at the bodies and take the risk of just getting close enough to almost touch them, when there is clearly NO Touching!!!! I rented the little radios which I highly recommend if you can hear them above the loud talkers and kid's screaming!!!! Then we have the other old people, that paid to see this so they are going to push their way into the front like it's a free buffet, and move right in front of a person that is in a chair. What has become of manners? So I was pretty distracted trying to get mom to see the displays and not ram people with her chair and basically avoid wheel chair rage. There were in human beings defense three ladies that helped me lift moms front wheels over taped electrical cords on the floor....I tried getting over them with momentum and almost dislodged mom into a catapult forward into becoming part of the exhibit, so we had to lift the front legs. Three different ladies helped me, and two were foreigners, or spoke with accents. It was pretty exhausting, and pretty soon I began to smell the bodies (mentally) and found myself, well actually caught my reflection in a glass,making this scrunched up with disgust face??? very attractive. Was it a good exhibit?, yes, am I glad I went ????? without incident??? not really, it isn't my thing , but mom loved it, oh and the radios, she got to work them like a pro, but was losing interest until we came to the male genitalia, she whipped that radio on and listened intently!!!! I told her it wasn't a working model!!! So we went to lunch downtown and I took her home and I took a long nap and can still smell plastic people!!!! PS, I think we should all have to spend a couple days in a wheelchair to see what it is like to be disabled, just a little life lesson, so we can respect the view!!!


Anonymous said...

Jan You are a good daughter.

camillaknits said...

I just found you... and nearly pee'd my pants. *Great* story-telling. I have to go explore the rest of your blog now. And the wristers. OMG. I might want to be you when I never grow up. Pat Norman for me. I miss that dude.