Can you say Wired????

I just want to thank those of you that said "Oh no you don't have to shave your legs, they don't put electrodes on your legs, it's all over your head!!!" AAhhhhhhh guess what? The first electrodes went on my calves with fur!!! I bought into what you said and even reassured myself that , why would they put something on your legs? Ha, they did and it was a guy too!!! By the way I am talking about a sleep study I had last night. Sleepless study you might say? How can you really sleep knowing that they are "watching you ". And above your head is this Infared light and a microphone!!! My first question was "What if I have to go pee? he reassured me that he could remove the set of 30 wires for me to pee!!!! It took my a 1/2 hr. to get wired up and I didn't want to go through all that again. So I did Ok, I missed watching the new on TV because he told me I had to go to sleep!! Hey I watch the news and then sleep!!! I guess lights out is lights out. I did fall asleep but then I hear a voice say...Jaaannn, turn onto your back now..huh? I can't sleep on my back and you woke me up!!! So after playing shuffle with my legs, first knees up and then down and up and I think I got tired and fell asleep. Then in he walks with the "Mask" oh boy, I knew it, but I thought I was sleeping Ok? No he said you are snoring, of course I am snoring I AM ON my back with my mouth hanging open, you're supposed to snore!!! So he straps the apparatus on and I look like an elephant and make the sound of one and he isn't thinking this is funny, I must have woke him up. So now I am liking this cool moist air being inhaled and fall to sleep like a little lamb. Jaaannnnn you must move your finger it isn't working? Oh for crying out loud, I had the finger sensor wrapped around so I could lay my arm out straight and I dislodged the sensor.....Let me sleep!!! This is the Sleep Clinic!!! I guess I am going to be joining the Darth Vader club. We'll find out in a couple of weeks, I'm too tired now to think about it!!!

Let's talk ettiquette!!

Yarn shop ettiquette, hhhhmmmmmm I guess sometimes, it feels like I am a mother or school marm. I guess sometimes I feel like I am too nice and let "too" much go by. Then again because I goof around alot, some take that as being stupid or dumb. I am neither stupid or dumb. I try to be nice, but cross me and I can become something I don't like myself. Treat me with *disrespect and you have lost a friend I haven't. I recently had the straw that broke the "knitters" back. I have mulled around the way to handle uncomfortable situations and rather than let it eat at me, I am going to blog it!!! Let's see if you can add something to this list of
Yarn Shop Ettiquette.
#1.) I don't care what yarn you knit on, that is your choice, but do not expect me to wind up another stores yarn on my ball winder, ask the place you bought it from to do it for you, this is a service I provide, for yarn bought in my shop.

#2.) Conversation should be acceptable to all genres of knitters, just like anywhere else you would sit and kabitz.

and lastly and most unbelievable I guess, see if you can top this?

#3.) If you are a previous shop owner, or you have Stash to get rid of, it is extemely arrogant, rude and disrespectful (refer to above *) to bring in your boxes and sell it in my shop for any reason, whatsoever. It tends to tick me off and make other customers uncomfortable. If your intention was to tick me off, you win!!!! The Arrogant, rude award, that is!!!!

Any other suggestions?

Fairy Exchange Part One

First off, We won!!! We won the #1 shop in Milwaukee for Arts and Crafts!!!! So many thanks to everyone for voting and I really appreciate it!!!
Now, last night was the Shop Fairy gift exchange. We missed a lot of people but there were a lot of people here. We took turns this time opening our gifts so we could all see what we had got. Last time it was a free for all and no one unless you were next to them saw what you got. So in our learning curve we opened each gift one at a time. I was sitting next to Wendy, and it was her turn to open her gift. She got many wonderful gifts and then pulled out what she thought was a Purple Hat!!!

She did not read the little label on the "Tea Cozy" and proceeds to say...sweetly....Oh and it has little holes in it?? Kind of like, doesn't everyone have a hat with holes in it????? I interject" it's a Tea Cozy" and Lois says "read the label!!!" Which says cutely "Tea Cozy".....so poor Wendy bows her head and whispers," I hope my shop Fairy isn't here, I feel so stupid" we assure her it was a legitimate mistake and let her off the hook.....and I told her ...her shop Fairy is not in fact here!!!
Part 2
Next it was my turn to open my gift!!! I am so excited and up to now my Shop Fairy (and I do know it is Wendy, who remember is sitting to my immediate left, I had to look, because my gifts have been awesome,) So knowing full well, my Shop Fairy is right there, I reach into my bag and take out a muslin sack with a Spider web stamped on the side and I am very excited knowing this bag will hold some awesome little trinket from Creative Wendy, er I mean Shop Fairy and I take out a flat piece of felt and a half bar of soap???? I keep smiling and saying Oh this is nice? Trying to figure out how the heck she felted a bar of soap with no soap in it, so I try to find an opening to put the soap into and can't and I am now struggling to figure out what this is exactly...a little 2 x3" piece of felt to rub on the soap and lather up this body???? Lois once again jumps in with "Read the card" Oh ...there's a card!!!

Hi, My name is "fairy dumb ass" and I am your shop fairy While felting your bar of pumpkin spice soap, I "thought", (I shouldn't think....) I would speed up the process of drying time by putting it in a low power minute and a half, microwave...
Wellllllllllllllll as I said, Hi my name is Fairy Dumbass...enjoy your now scrubby and 1/2 bar of soap!!! This picture was on the reverse side...it is of her microwave with the melted soap in it!!!

So this is the kind of night it was, we were all laughing so hard and it was because neither one of us knew what the heck to say or do, so we made Wendy put the "Tea Cozy" hat, which we now named her "Pot Head" on and model it for her Shop Fairy!!!!

What the?????

So in my week before I start eatting healthier and doing more to create the body that I was deprived of, I joined a Yoga group. Last Wed. as a matter of fact. So to indulge myself I ordered Chinese food for supper so I wouldn't go hungry, after all it's the first night, I'm sure she will walk us through what we are going to do. As I shoved every last morsel of fried rice into my piehole, I read the directions and it says..."Aerobics????" Hey I didn't sign up for Aerobics???? What???? So in my agony I decided to go and see if they signed me up for the wrong thing, why else would they tell me to wear gym shoes and bring a towel for sweat? I find door number 21 and enter with other woman carrying mats....mine of course is purple as are my shoes that have begun to pinch my feet due to swelling from the ton of Chinese food I plowed through about an hour earlier, that's right I said about an hour earlier. I follow this group of Stepford woman, in their cute little Yoga outfits and me in my jumbo T-shirt with some dumb saying on it, purple shoes, I forgot my towel but did have water and black stretchy pants!!! First trauma, is a set of stairs, who the heck puts the gym on the second floor? So as I am breathing like the train in "Little Engine that Couldn't" trying to find a bubbler to have a reason to slow down and catch my breath....finally a whole group of people with Mats strung across their backs or in little cute bags, are gathering outside a room with a huge window so we can be observed like laboratory animals. Inside the room are people that look like they swallowed bubble gum and it's coming out of thier arses.... a room filled with people sitting atop blow up balls and bouncing like they are trying their darndest to detach the huge bubble from their butts. I can't help but giggle, but everyone else seems to think this is very serious....there is to be no laughing with this bunch. So Bubble class lets out and I can't help but wonder how all of these people carrying their colorful balls are going to get them into their vehicles, I only have a mat. So we are allowed into the room filled with music of ancient zen...I could almost smell the incense. There she was in front, our Yogi, I guess she didn't feel an introduction was in place, she just started right in. I rolled out my mat, and stood in the "Mountain" I think that is what she said or the "Mounted?" I think Mountain was the right one? I kind of giggled at that, I kind of looked around, you know the scan you do in church...seeing what everyone else is up to...(well I do anyway) I am the one....oldest and two fattest person in the group....oh yeah that is encouraging. So Yogi in front starts up and is going through all this crap we have to do and well with my attention span (you know of a gnat) I found out I needed badly to shave my legs~ if you eat a ton of Chinese and try to put your face between your hands in front of you on a mat with your butt up in the air....child pose I think...the Chinese trys very hard to come up the way it went down, but not as tasty. I was really trying hard to behave but when she said to do some Pelvic thrust dumahicky...I started to snicker to myself and did notice the woman that had just had a baby a few hours before coming to class, couldn't do some of the stuff either.....some excuse that is!!! I found that sitting on the mat and watching the others go through their routine with Zen Master....sipping on my water bottle as I am having one hell of a hot flash and trying to wipe my face in my shirt, that says "Don't sweat the small stuff" the best position for me is the "Corpse" I got that one down pat...oh yeah and the guy that had to take this class with his preppy red shirt and short styled hair and 5:00 shadow, had his white cotton duck pants stuck in his butt crack....giggle giggle!!! Opps back to the Corpse position.