Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Blackberries ala Bird poop!!!

Everyone warns you about Raspberry bushes and how you should never plant them in your yard for fear that they will overtake everything. The red flag comes out when you plant any and I mean any kind of mint. You can put mint in a pot and it finds a way to escape and travel like a carpetbagger all over your garden. Being the green thumb that I am not, if there is a way to plant anything wrong, I wrote the book. My herb garden is overun with Chocolate Mint...of course how could something that sounds soooo good, be evil? Another nasty, witch, is Comfrey....nice sounding, relaxing but a rebel trespasser. Roundup does nothing to kill any of these species. I even have some Stinging Nettle...a very healthy tea,, that you feel before you see it. I didn't plant that, I am not that brainless. I also can not get rid of it. Well now I have blackberries? I know better than to plant any kind of berry...not to mention my adverstion to picking any kind of berry. I had a Grandma that loved to pick berries, I on the otherhand liked to eat them. Rule number one, when picking berries with Grandma, never, and I mean never eat from the forbidden 10 gallon pail you had to drag along side of you. The pail was as tall as I was and I remember standing in the raspberry patch, which only is called that because you have to patch every darn piece of clothing you rip on the thorns. My mother ever willing to try to please berry picking Grandma was picking berries like a maniac. Filling 55 gallon drums like crazy!! Here I am standing, looking at the bush in front of me and down into the bottomless pail with three berries in it, up at the bush and down at the two berries in it. Can you see where this is going? Not to mention sand flies biting the hell out of my ears. I hate and I mean hate to pick fricking berries. Oh yes, I love to eat them, but I will forever forego eatting berries if I have to pick them. I like paying for them in their nice little plastic containers. But back then, Grandma made me pick schtinking berries. So evasive move #1..eat the berries you pick and get sick from them and throw up into the bucket...#2 stand looking at the bushes like they are aliens and you are frozen in fear of getting picked or the only one that really worked is to whine and whimper till your hero (dad) hears you...this sometimes meant loud little shrieks to get his attention, meanwhile picking the bites from the sandflies so they are bleeding down your face. Enter Dad, first off Dad and Grandma dearest never got along too well, second you didn't mess with us kids!! The minute I spy my dad coming over...yeah baby it's show time...Academy award winning acting well some acting some real trauma. My dad says "Look at her she's bleeding all over from the dam bugs biting her..what the hell is wrong with you, making her stay out here and pick GD berries. Go in the house. phew....Daddy I love you!!! But let me tell you the evil glares and the appearance of horns coming out of Grandmas head, I knew this was not over!!! So now many years later and I still hate picking berries, I have a blackberry bush from bird poop growing in my yard. Dare I say I am truley enjoying the fresh berries I am picking at my will!!!!! Little cups full at a time and I even share them, a couple berries at a time.

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