Ok, it's our usual Thursday night get together so a few of the friends are here and I decide to order pizza. The usual great pizza place is either on vacation or closed, which I found out today it is the latter. So in search of a new place, I could only think of one in the area that delivers. Bzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz, Hello __________ Pizza. Yes I would like to order pizza for delivery! Name, please....Jan......Ring ring (in the backround!) Could you hold on a minute? sure....a little toe tapping goes on....Hi, Ok now what size did you want? Do you have any Specials? Yeah, two large for $11.99. I assume each? Ok that's good, I'll take two large. What kind of crust? What are my options? What do you mean? I mean......thin, burnt...what do you offer ( idiot?..you asked me?) Oh, we have thin and hand tossed. Can we have one of each....yeah that's OK...it'll be 45 minutes. Ok fine, bring it to the front door....OK. 45 minutes later....Ding....hhhmmm first clue something is wrong is he brought it to the back door. I open the door, it's the pizza guy...58 dollars maam....excuse me? $50 what????? There must be some mistake, I am frantic, I look over my shoulder to see my posse,,,, all their mouths hanging open gaping at his words, they are shoving money into my hands!!! I try to lift these pizzas that weigh 40 pounds and are about the size of my kitchen table...my mouth still open and they are hot....really hot. I am now crabby, bitchy and upset and very hungry, we are all in shock and like most people in shock we start to eat...trance like eating not really enjoying this Lobster encrusted with Gold pizza that cost a fortune. Because to add insult to injury it tasted like crap!!!!!! Not really it just had NO taste!!!! Being that I suffer from mental disfunctia, I kept trying to replay what my conversation was with the Pizza queen that took my order...but I have my back up girls...reassurring me that I said Large not the Mother Load of all time Family style buffet pizza!!! and I asked for the special....OH wait did she say special screwing??????? Note to self never buy pizza from Deranged O's
3 comments:
Janny, always ask what the total is before you give them the address and if it's too much send it to the police station.
I don't think the girl on the phone was smart enough to come up with a total if we had given her the 45 minutes to come up with it. The kids enjoyed the olives, by the way :)
I feel the heart attack coming. As Red Fox would say" I am having the Big One, Elizabeth here I come." or something to this effect. It's been awhile since I 've a Sanford & Son episode.
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