Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Bunny Ears



Many of my friends and my son's friends for that matter, know the story of the Bunny Ears. For years, probably 18 years, at Easter I would, like a good mother that I was.... make my son an Easter basket. I would get it all prepared and decorated and set it out, and then sit on the couch and the Chocolate Rabbit would call me...."Janny.....Janny....taste me....just a little!" I would turn my head away and try to think of other things. I could see it taunting me...."Come here....just a little..try my ear...so I would..saunter over to the basket and hold the chocolate bunny in my hand and smell it's fine aroma....tickling my nose with it's alluring scent. Soon it would start to melt...oh no...so with one quick swipe of my jaws off went the ears. Honest I couldn't help it....now what, two gaping holes in the rabbits head....leering at me? So I did what all good mothers would do invent a new tradition...Easter Squirrels!! I would fill the cavity with jelly beans ...yeah that's it...it looks good to me!!! So for many years 18 to be almost exact...I just knew my dear son would have an Easter Squirrel by morning. So a friend walks into the shop just giggling....In her hand she has some candy bars. Kit Kat has made a candy bar for all of us mothers that get caught up with Easter and rip their childrens Ears off of their bunnies...Rabbit Ears!!! So for this Easter I bought 18 years worth of Bunny Ears for my son in penance for all of the years of him not getting to eat them. I also confessed "Sorry, there is no Easter Squirrel"

Friday, March 09, 2007

Supersize me!!!



Ok, it's our usual Thursday night get together so a few of the friends are here and I decide to order pizza. The usual great pizza place is either on vacation or closed, which I found out today it is the latter. So in search of a new place, I could only think of one in the area that delivers. Bzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz, Hello __________ Pizza. Yes I would like to order pizza for delivery! Name, please....Jan......Ring ring (in the backround!) Could you hold on a minute? sure....a little toe tapping goes on....Hi, Ok now what size did you want? Do you have any Specials? Yeah, two large for $11.99. I assume each? Ok that's good, I'll take two large. What kind of crust? What are my options? What do you mean? I mean......thin, burnt...what do you offer ( idiot?..you asked me?) Oh, we have thin and hand tossed. Can we have one of each....yeah that's OK...it'll be 45 minutes. Ok fine, bring it to the front door....OK. 45 minutes later....Ding....hhhmmm first clue something is wrong is he brought it to the back door. I open the door, it's the pizza guy...58 dollars maam....excuse me? $50 what????? There must be some mistake, I am frantic, I look over my shoulder to see my posse,,,, all their mouths hanging open gaping at his words, they are shoving money into my hands!!! I try to lift these pizzas that weigh 40 pounds and are about the size of my kitchen table...my mouth still open and they are hot....really hot. I am now crabby, bitchy and upset and very hungry, we are all in shock and like most people in shock we start to eat...trance like eating not really enjoying this Lobster encrusted with Gold pizza that cost a fortune. Because to add insult to injury it tasted like crap!!!!!! Not really it just had NO taste!!!! Being that I suffer from mental disfunctia, I kept trying to replay what my conversation was with the Pizza queen that took my order...but I have my back up girls...reassurring me that I said Large not the Mother Load of all time Family style buffet pizza!!! and I asked for the special....OH wait did she say special screwing??????? Note to self never buy pizza from Deranged O's

Saturday, March 03, 2007

New Boss at the Store!!


Corrie Dale, yup!!! I was given a build a Sheep!! Now not having small children, I am not aware of all of these toy thingies. One of my beginning knitting class students has a son, that is quite active in Karate and is quite good as I understand it. They were at the "Mall" and decided to build a Bear, or Dog, I guess they may have a few more different building items? He saw the sheep and told her she should make it for ME!!! MOI!! and she did. So I think you are all aware that my cat had to be put to sleep a few weeks ago and I am adjusting fine. I am allergic to cats in the first place but the allergist suggested I just not get another one......!! So I am abiding by his rules in order to get my health on track and not live on a respirator. So into the store comes Patty, with a box (kind of a big box) and it has breathing holes in it, and a huge grin on her face. Me not wanting to disappoint her, swallows rather hard and keeps smiling, as flashes are going through my head...
Patty doesn't seem like the type that would get me a kitten?
Kittens are so darn irresistable, but I must say no!!
Don't look at it and you won't have to keep it!
Keep in mind Joey will kill it..yeah that's the plan, it's Joeys fault and you can't endanger a sweet little kitten, for fear that Joey will make it lunch!!!
As I tentativly open the box it has white fur but would have to be a rather large kitten and a mute? Can I tell you how excited I was, when I saw Corrie!!! I almost cried....need I say more!!! Fiber people are the greatest!!! Corrie is sitting at the check out, making sure I don't throw the cash register through the window!! That's another story!! Thank ewe Patty and son!!!